provoke → 372,536 notes
provoke → 240,972 notes
provoke → 243,618 notes
provoke → 120,087 notes

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via fuckright-off)

provoke → 488 notes

yolucas:

yolucas:

yolucas:

story time: when I was in kindergarten there was these twin boys in my class and one was considered a bad boy who would push other boys off of the swing so I could have a turn and the other one was a nerd who would give me animal crackers and do my homework so I dated them both at the same time so basically my love life was in its prime when I was 4

what did four year old me have that i dont have now

according to my mom it’s because i became a bad person

provoke → 7,852 notes

healthier-each-day:

milk-eggs-vodka:

gosh mom I don’t work out to be “cute” and “petite” I work out to have legs that are strong enough to crush the souls of 10,000 men

that´s the spirit

(via lovemengai)

provoke → 223,737 notes
provoke → 191,176 notes
provoke → 252,319 notes

eoop:

I was extremely kissable today and do you know how many kisses I received??? ZERO

(via mlssfortune)

provoke → 53,397 notes
provoke → 81,394 notes

jerkidiot:

jerkidiot:

I DON’T WANT TO GROW UP I WANT TO STAY A LITTLE KID FOREVER I NEED CAPRI SUN I NEED TEMPORARY TATTOOS

image

IS IT WORKING

(via bewbin)

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